My pregnancy overall was pretty good. I never had any morning sickness or nausea and I was extremely grateful for this. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes when I was 23 weeks pregnant and I also had high blood pressure so this made my pregnancy a high-risk pregnancy. My gynecologist and maternal fetal doctor told me that I was going to be induced between 37-39 weeks because I my pregnancy was high-risk.
I was 37 weeks 4 days pregnant when we went in on Monday May 14 at 1:30 AM to be induced. When I walked into my labor and delivery room every emotion came over me. This was really about to happen, we’re about to have our baby girl. I was nervous and scared, regardless of all of the birth stories I had heard from friends, family and even strangers in stores, I still had no concept of what I was about to experience.
When we got settled in the nurse came in and explained everything that was going to happen. I was looking at her and watching words come out of her mouth but I heard nothing she said. At the time I was imagining how my delivery was going to be, what it was going to be like to see my daughter for the first time and what kind of mom I was going to be. I’m so glad my husband was by my side the whole time because he was my calm and comfort.
My blood pressure was extremely high so they started an IV and gave me meds for my blood pressure and also put a cuff on my arm that checked my blood pressure every 30 minutes. I was only 1 cm dilated so they inserted a Cytotec pill by my cervix to ripen it and to induce contractions. They had me hooked up to a monitor that showed my blood pressure, heartbeat, contractions and Aubrey’s heartbeat.
On the screen I could see the small lumps for contractions and they felt like minor period cramps and they weren’t very often at all. They came in and check my cervix after a while and I was still only at 1 cm. They called my doctor and she gave the ok to start the Pitocin.
When they gave me the Pitocin, I didn’t feel anything until maybe an hour after. The contractions were definitely stronger but they were not painful. They came in to check my cervix and I had gotten to 1 ½ cm dilated. They increased the Pitocin and after that it was just a waiting game. I was tired and uncomfortable. Between the nurses coming in and out constantly to the blood pressure cuff that went off every 30 minutes I couldn’t really get any rest.
I asked one of my nurses if I could have a snack and she said no ma’am, you can’t have anything until your baby girl is born other than ice chips. I wasn’t happy about that at all, but she was so sweet I couldn’t be rude to her so I said yes to the ice chips.
My doctor came in that morning around 8 to check on my progress and there was none since the last time they checked me. At that point she gave me two choices: I could do the Foley bulb to help me start dilating more or she can break my water to hopefully help speed up my labor. I chose to have her break my water.
When she went to brake my water, I asked her to show me what they use and when I saw it, I started freaking out in my head. She saw my reaction and laughed and told me to just relax. I just knew she was going to stab my baby in the head with this thing in her hand, lol. I actually didn’t feel anything when she broke my water other than the fluid gushing out. I felt so silly afterwards for being scared.
After she broke my water the nurse came in and talked to me about an epidural and told me to let them know if and when I wanted one because my contractions were about to get worse. I told them that I was going to try and wait as long as possible before thinking about an epidural.
The first contraction hit me about 45 minutes after having my water broken and I told my husband they felt like intense period cramps. Well they got worse and it started to feel like one big cramp from my stomach to my knees. 15 minutes later I asked my husband to call the nurse and tell her I wanted the epidural.
My epidural experience was the worst part of my labor. My husband had to leave the room and I wasn’t too happy about that but oh well. The nurse explained everything to me and told me what was going to happen. She had me scoot to the end of the bed and bend over with my belly between my legs and she held me down while the anesthesiologist prepped me by numbing the area first. I thought to myself that wasn’t so bad. Then I actually felt the catheter being threaded through my back and instead of jumping I screamed and started shaking.
The anesthesiologist got frustrated with me and told the nurse to hold me still. She pushed me down further which made me more uncomfortable because my stomach at this point was as far down as it could go with me being bent over and my breast were in my face to where I couldn’t really breathe. I seriously thought about biting her when she pushed me down without warning. He was able to get the epidural in but I heard every clicking, crunching and clacking sound reverberate through my bones as it was threaded through.
When my husband came back in the room, I couldn’t stop crying because of what I had just experienced and the sounds of the crunching kept playing over and over in my head. After that it wasn’t long before my contractions were pain free.
After my epidural the nurse told me I had to lay on my side and she was going to put a peanut ball between my legs. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing but at least I wasn’t having pain from contractions anymore. I wasn’t able to get any rest because every 30 minutes the nurse came in and had me flip on my other side with the peanut ball. Every time I started to fall asleep the nurse would come in to help me flip over.
Although I was no longer in pain from contractions I was mentally and physically exhausted, hungry for anything other than ice chips and frustrated because I felt like my body wasn’t progressing and I was going to be in labor forever.
When the nurse came in around 8 that evening to check my cervix and flip me over, I told her I didn’t want to use the peanut ball anymore. I was extremely uncomfortable and just tired. At that point I was only 3 cm dilated. At that point I got so discouraged, I had been in labor for 18 hours and was only 3 cm dilated. My doctor was not going to let me go past 24 hours with my water broken. I knew that if I my body failed to progress in labor, I was going to have to have a C-section.
My doctor came in at 7:00 the next morning to check on me and I was still only at 3 cm dilated. She looked at me and said, “Ashley you tried and that’s all that matters, now let’s get this baby girl out.” When I told her ok a flock of nurses came into the labor and delivery room to prep me for a C-section.
I cried. One of the nurses asked me why was I crying at such a joyous time and I told her I was disappointed in myself and I feel like I failed. The nurses were so encouraging told me to stop being so hard on myself and that I didn’t fail. Everyone was so patient with me and made sure that I was comfortable while they were prepping me.
As they were wheeling me to the OR my husband was by my side the entire time smiling so big. They gave him scrubs to put on and he sat on my side of the partition. The staff talked me through everything and told me what was going on. The first time they went in to pull Aubrey out she crawled back up and went under my ribs. One doctor had her arm in trying to pull her out and another doctor was kneeling on the table pushing on my chest to get Aubrey to move back down. I heard them say she is being stubborn already and does not want to come out. Everyone laughed in the room and after a few minutes they were able to pull her out. I heard her cry and I started crying.
It was such a relief to hear her and know she made it out okay. I didn’t get to immediately see her but all of the nurses and both doctors said she was so beautiful and they took her to one side of the OR to check her vitals and clean her up. My husband went over and looked at her and came back to me and said she was beautiful. I fell asleep while they were closing me up and they woke me up and put Aubrey in my arms and my first thought was “she’s perfect”.
After 37 weeks and 5 days she’s finally here. Meeting my baby girl for the first time was the best feeling in the world. It was love at first sight and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Getting to finally look at her, hold her, smell her and feel her was just an amazingly overwhelming love. My heart was so full of happiness and joy.
Aubrey Ann Tutt
May 15, 2018 @ 8:11 AM
8 lbs. 10 oz